Psychiatry

This is by far the hardest 3rd year clerkship to write about.  I finished the rotation in mid-July, if that's any indication.  But for completeness sake, I have to write it.  I spent the entire 6 week Psychiatry rotation at an inpatient treatment center for children with acute psychiatric illness.  This was not a site I wanted to be placed at.  For one, my big buddy had to leave half-way through the rotation a year prior because she was so miserable.  I'm also not too crazy about pediatrics.  Third, it was the last rotation of the year and this site is rumored to be the most time-intensive of all our psychiatry sites, so no one was really interested in putting in long hours at this juncture in our academic careers.   So it came down to drawing names out of a hat, naturally.  And what do you know, lucky me got picked!

Team drama aside, I was placed at the treatment center with some very lovely classmates and it turned out the staff was very lovely too.  Since it's an inpatient center, there is a lot of support for the kids including doctors, therapists, social workers, occupational therapists, teachers, nurses and even a therapy dog!  The thing that was not so lovely were the stories.  It was stuff out of television except when you watch TV it seems like it's not real and you can turn it off and go about your regular activities.  I felt like I was trapped in the TV and I had to watch and learn about all the physical and psychological aftermath of the horrors these kids have been through.  Within the first two weeks I began experiencing symptoms of vicarious traumatization, which can take on many forms, from anxiety/depression to actual PTSD-like symptoms that results from empathizing with victims of trauma. I was definitely not alone, I found after talking with my classmates on the team.  And born out of our distress is a research project my classmate and I are taking on!

The rotation did get easier and I learned to take some comfort in knowing that the kids truly were receiving the care they needed.   And I am also grateful for the experience.  I learned how to work through my own emotions so that I can take better care of patients.  I was pushed harder than I have ever been pushed before, and I know my interviewing skills improved by leaps and bounds.  And I get to be a part of this great project.  So, not so bad in the end.